Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A poop of epic proportions!

Most “pee” stories are gender specific.  Mike has many “pee” stories that we love sharing with other parents (like laying on the changing table at daycare and shooting the fountain of youth straight into the sink!  Ol’ faithful is like a firearm – always considered it loaded and ready to shoot!).  And parents of little girls have “pee” stories too – just as fun to tell, but slightly different than the boy “pee” stories.

But all parents can relate to “poo” stories!  And everyone has a story like the one that happened to us tonight…

Mike was sitting on mom’s lap when he starting getting a little fussy.  All the signs were there, waving his arms, pulling his knees to his chest – we knew that the gas pressure was building.  Then all of a sudden, the small cries suddenly stopped.  Mike froze, holding his breath, arms in mid flail, not moving a muscle.  Then mom exclaims, “Oh my gosh”!  Then dad asks the usual follow-up question “gas or poo?”

“Poo”, replies mom.  At this point, we would simply change the diaper and one would ask the other “was it a small, medium, or large”.  But not this time. 

Instead – mom says, “Wow – it’s still coming out”!  Slight pause.  “Oh my gosh!  It’s still coming!”  Slight pause – Mike still frozen in place.  “He’s still going!”  Slight pause.  “Holy cow!  Is he going to stop?”  Another pause – Mike’s face is really turning red now.  “Uh oh – we may have a blow out.”  Slight pause.  “Yep – definitely a blow out”.  Pause.  “I hope he stops soon!” 

After what seemed like 20 minutes, Mike finally started moving again.  Sure enough, the diaper had leaked.  And it was in no way the diaper’s fault!  Take a look at how small a “size 1” diaper is.  Even with the modern advancements in absorbency technology – it’s not going to hold five gallons of anything.

So there it goes.  Out the legs.  Out over the waistband.  Through the white onesie.  Through the shirt.  Through the overalls.  Yep, that’s three layers of clothing!  And the bottom layer (that poor onesie) had more “dirty” area than “clean” area!  This will give all new meaning to “spot remover”.

Then it was time to bring out the wipes.  Starting with the little baby butt (of course you need to clean there!).  Then move on down the legs.  The backs of the knees.  All up the back.  Is that poo on your shoulder?  Are you kidding?  How did it get on your stomach?  In your bellybutton?  Really?

If you have kids, you know EXACTLY what we are talking about.  And right now you are saying, “I remember that day when…”

If you don’t have kids then you are wondering how anybody in their right mind could write so much about “poo”.


Anonymous said...

Who knew Poo was such a wonderful thing!!!!Welcome to parent hood and to a great story for around the campfire with Mike's first girlfriend because his Aunt Jennifer and Lucas and Kiersten love a campfire story and this is one to never forget... We've even got it in black and white now.

Jo-Ann said...

Ah yes, the blowout. I remember them well. lol

Quad Squad! said...

Hahahahahahahahaha! I love it! Great story, definitely brought back some memories for me!